Rats In Atlantis
by katstales
Summary: Short tag for The Ark season 3. Carson finds out that John and Ronon didn't tell him everything. MAJOR SPOILERS for The Ark. COMPLETE


Disclaimer: Tragic though it is, I don't own 'em. No profit was made and no actual medical records were harmed during the writing of this tag. :)

Warnings: Contains MAJOR spoilers for The Ark (season 3). Story spell-checked, but not beta'ed--sorry!

* * *

"So how's everyone doing?" Rodney McKay breezed into the infirmary and approached Teyla's bed. 

The Athosian smiled warmly. "As I explained to John earlier, I tried to tell Carson that I was fine, but he has insisted that I stay overnight."

At that moment, the doctor in question rounded the corner. "Back already, Rodney? I thought ye were going to be tied up on the planet for some time yet."

"Yes, well, things moved along much more quickly than expected." McKay looked around questioningly. "Where are Sheppard and Ronon?"

"I would expect they're in their quarters asleep by now," responded the Scot.

"Huh. I'm surprised you didn't keep them overnight, too. So how did they manage to wiggle their way out of it anyway?" Rodney put his hands up. "No, wait! Let me guess. Conan did that death-glare thing of his and intimidated his way out--not that I'd blame you; he can be one scary guy when he wants. And Sheppard? Sheppard did that quirky little crooked-smiling-Kirk-thing and charmed his way out, though I can't believe you actually fell for that." Bouncing on his heels, he waggled his eyebrows. "So am I right or am I right?"

"No, ye daft bugger. A separated shoulder doesna warrant an overnight stay, and Colonel Sheppard checked out all right after his little daredevil piloting stunt--though I dare say, there could be some serious arguments made regarding the right state of the man's sanity."

McKay still seemed surprised. "Oh. Well, I just thought that with their compartment being nearly completely vented and then taking so long to re-pressurize that you might have kept them, that's all."

Carson frowned. "What? When was this? And why is this the first I'm hearin' of it?"

Rodney looked to Teyla, who immediately held up her hands in an off-putting gesture. "Do not look at me. You got yourself into this; you shall have to get yourself out."

"Rodney?" demanded Carson.

McKay shook his head. "They'll kill me!"

"Out with it, man, or would ye rather I remember yer overdue for a complete physical?"

"That's blackmail!"

"I prefer to call it presenting ye yer options," deadpanned Carson.

"This is so not fair!" McKay's wail drew the attention of a nurse restocking supplies across the room.

Carson tapped his foot, arms crossed. After a lengthy pause, he called out to the nurse. "Amy, love, did ye get those extra large bore needles unpacked yet?"

"All right! But you cannot tell them I told," warned the physicist.

Beckett nodded. "Now tell me exactly what happened."

McKay opened his mouth to speak, but stopped short. Outraged, he turned on Carson. "Hey! Wait a minute--I had my physical last month."

Beckett glared back at him. "Aye, well I have reason to believe that those records may well have a wee bit of an accident. The backups, too," he added.

"You wouldn't!"

"Do ye really want to put me to the test?"

"But they'll do unspeakable thing to me," whined McKay.

"And then I'll fix whatever they do. Now get on with it already."

Knowing he was out of options, Rodney looked furtively around to be sure no one would overhear. "When Sammy Suicide blew the outer doors, the compartment that Sheppard and Ronon were in was almost completely vented. It took almost a full minute to re-pressurize. I'm pretty sure they passed out from the lack of oxygen, because they didn't respond right away when I tried to hail them."

Carson's look was a mixture of worry and fury. Rodney swallowed hard. "I'm sure it's ok--they both seemed fine after they woke up."

Beckett closed his eyes, his head nodding in time to an apparent mental countdown. When he opened them, he turned a determined glare on the physicist. "If ye dinna want them to know ye told, I would suggest ye leave now." Without waiting for a response, he tapped his earpiece. "Colonel Sheppard? This is Beckett, please respond."

"Um, glad to hear you're ok," Rodney told Teyla in a rush. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, the man turned and literally ran from the room.

Teyla shook her head and smiled. Her attention immediately went back to the doctor who was now conversing with her commanding officer. "Yes, I know it's late and you were sleeping, but I need ta see you and Ronon in the infirmary immediately." Carson rolled his eyes. She could well imagine John's response. "Yes, I do know how much he hates to be awakened in the middle of the night. I can assure ye, if it were not completely necessary, I wouldna be askin' ye to do it."

The doctor shook his head. "No, no. Teyla's fine. This has to do with another matter, which we can discuss when ye both get here. Beckett out."

With the conversation ended, he turned to Teyla. "Would ye like something to help ye sleep, love? I expect it might be gettin' a wee bit noisy in here when yer teammates arrive."

She smiled broadly. "And miss the show? No, thank you--I will wait."

-A-

"Hey, doc. You wanted to see us?" Sheppard appeared as ordered within a reasonable time, dragging a drugged and sleepy Satedan with him.

Beckett pointed to two beds, a set of neatly folded scrubs on each. "Get changed and I'll be with ye directly. Ronon, I'll send Amy in to help ye."

"Hey, wait a minute--I was only kidding earlier. I don't need to stay overnight--you said yourself that I was fine when you checked me over," protested the colonel.

"You said go straight to my room, take two pills, and go to sleep. I did." Ronon, holding his arm close to his body, was obviously unhappy about the unexpected wake-up call.

"Aye, but…" Beckett stopped short, glaring at the Satedan. "And I also told ye to wear the sling I gave ye. So where is it?"

Ronon made a show of looking around them. "Don't know. Guess it musta got lost."

"Och, the pair o' ye are enough to try the patience of even the greatest saint." Carson shook his head in disgust. "Back to the matter at hand, at the time I released ye both, I didna have all the information I needed."

"What information did you not have?" demanded Sheppard suspiciously.

Carson snorted. "Well now, it seems ye forgot ta mention that ye both were nearly asphyxiated when the lad blew the outer doors. We'll be needin' to monitor yer O2 levels fer a bit to make sure everything is back to normal and stayin' that way."

Both men instantly shot dirty looks to their female teammate. "Do not look at me--I did not say a word," she protested.

Beckett did his best to divert their attention. "Go on now, with the both of ye. The sooner ye get changed, the sooner we can get ye settled."

"Then who?" demanded John, ignoring the doctor for the moment. "Ronon didn't tell anyone and neither did I, so if you didn't rat us out…" With a knowing look, Sheppard turned slowly to face the door.

"McKay!"

_The End_


End file.
